I am so sorry that I almost let you die. Especially since you were kind of expensive to set up because I used a web designer. I abandoned you in favor of J-Date, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish and (sigh) Tinder. OK, Tinder for a really short time. Swiping left or right if you want to meet some one is one of the great cultural innovations of our time. I didn’t want to be left out. And the guys on Tinder have major ink.
Really, I just wanted material for my book. Who wants to read about my fascination with decorative throw pillows, creamy scrambled eggs and binge-watching “Californication.” And, after all that time on-line, I didn’t meet anyone who even remotely resembled David Duchovny. Maybe Evan Handler, a little bit.
I did meet a professional rapper who texted me nude selfies. He apparently spends a lot of time at the gym. (Reprints available on request). I met a hot cowboy who got majorly drunk and passed out on my sofa after telling me he could have had sex with a twenty-four year old model. (Apparently when he wasn’t so plastered). And I dated a rich artist who whined that I reminded me of his glamorous, but withholding, mother. Apparently, he was still in Freudian therapy over it.
Note the overuse of the word “apparently.” Writers are warned not to use adverbs: they are extraneous. A feasible suitor also should not need the qualifier “apparently.” Like, “apparently, he was a whack job.”
Blogging is scary. It “apparently” requires tweeting, guest posting, face booking and general all-around toadying. But as God is my witness, I will give this another try. Ok, just another hour on my on-line shopping sites before I look at any more crap on SEO!!!!
Your apparent webmaster, Debbie